Legends Deserve More Than Dot-Coms

The theory is: Legends happen because there exists an ultimate Human Resources Department (Let’s call it Chosen One Recruitment or COR) that has positions to fill and relentless headhunters out to get them filled. It’s like when Santa fell of the roof in the Santa Clause, Tim Allen didn’t really have a choice, he was the “CHOSEN ONE (CO)”. And inversely, If you or I “choose” to be Santa for instance, well, COR may just send us a polite letter thanking us for our effort, and we’d never get that determining return call. Hard work, talent, being in the right place at the right time, friends in high places, money, open position availability, etc. all come into play, but it’s up to COR. But let’s be fair to COR. COR is REALLY good at what it does!

Whether you know it or not, we ALL work for BGR. Everyone of us, the entire human race, myself included. If elections were held this way, it would take the fun out of cheating!

The process is like a perpetual motion machine. Like water over a rock, it combines the power of statistics with human romantic passion, our creative capacity, and stick-to-it-ness and a slow-but-steady tick-toc timetable that resembles Darwinian change, to permanently etch “Chosen Ones” into the stone tablets of mankind’s Hall of Fame.

Every pop passing out cigars is certain his new baby is destined to be a “Chosen One”. And back in high school we all had at least one future Robin Williams or Joe Montana. As our high school world expands, most big fish in small tanks become just another sardine. Newspapers and social media networks are filled with people in the limelight, they select their own “chosen ones” all the time, but if COR isn’t interested, are sifted out like pebbles in a gold pan. Rising stars shine are all the buzz for a week, month or year, and even if they truly make us marvel, smile or frown, without COR the new car paint and the head-turning shine gives way to a dull, dusty coat of camouflage. Humans are far from omnipotent, we can’t even figure out how Google selects its chosen ones, how can we hope to unravel COR’s Chosen One Selection secret algorithm? If anyone anyone really knew the answer they’d be selling it to us on a daily basis in our spam mail. Isn’t that what Hollywood tries to do with varying success? But Hollywood only refers their CO candidates. They invest, polish, promote, publicize and advertise. But only COR verifies them and canonizes these names as “chosen ones”.

And there are many Darwinian-like factors that fine tune the process. If CO wanna-be’s catch wind of the fact that COR is calling a competitor back fro a second interview, then BOOOOOM”! An exponential explosion of resistance, jealousy, fear and anger that ordinary people will never know or encounter is directed at those chosen few semi finalist trying to weed out the frail as they begin to make their ascent while all of us mortals remained complacent on the ground biding our time. Most spectators are accepting, but the passionate wanna-bes pull out their pins and go down popping as many balloons as they can, based on the common theory that if you can’t rise to the top, you can at least appear respectably tall if you go around chopping off heads.

Let’s look at some actual examples: And since we already brought up this one-name icon, let’s use it again: Santa. He’s been through it all, and like most good heroes, withstood the test of time, the pin pricks, gradually ascending, sometimes with the blessing of organized religions, other times being admonished and outlawed by the same, ultimately being accepted by and transcending organized religions. Remember, it’s easier to get the job at an interview if you don’t look hungry, and Santa like so many other successful COs had the advantage of not giving a flying sleigh about the entire selection process, and being completely consumed with his purpose in life. Despite the wanna-be’s, conflicting special interest groups, Santa’s dedication to his mission caught the attention of GOR and so one day the post person knocked on Santa’s door with a certified letter, and when the man in red saw what it was he tossed it in the round file. “Too busy for this!” he grumbled.

Another syndrome that comes into play is “CO Envy”. A mere mention your favorite CO as perhaps being equal to or greater than another’s favorite CO, has been the basis fervent attacks. John Lennon was famous for saying things that got people angry, and when he said, “The Beatles are bigger than Jesus…” he ruffled a LOT of feathers. The telephone test is a good indicator. Call up anyone and ask the following as a test:

1. What do you think of + (CO first name)
2. What do you think of + (CO last name)

It is a monumental achievement to be recognized by a single name, first or last. And testament to a monopoly if an individual “owns” a first name that is recognized worldwide. Santa being a great example. But Santa’s last name is too common to stand on its own. Commonly spelled “Klaus” Klaus is the # 5681 ranked last name in the United States.

I am working on part II to follow.